Halloween World: Emerald Hope's Bulletin Board
by Vathara
Summary: Surviving Northwest Florida under the Red Sky leads to some interesting tips....


Halloween World: Emerald Hope's Bulletin Board

A/N: Set in spaceman's "Halloween World" Buffyverse AU; none of the various canons involved are mine. Nor is the area around Pensacola, Florida. Heh. Kat Smith, however, is.

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Okay, people. The Get of Fenrir werewolves backed off, the latest crop of man-eating aliens is toast, and, as you've probably heard, the flayerspawn psychic's little world domination gig has been permanently canceled due to a fatal case of eldritch flame. Important safety tip: fireproof does _not_ mean _hellfire_-proof, and there's a good reason Kat has those fancy wards around her room.

So while we've got a breather, our last town meeting asked Medical to put together some brief suggestions to make our lives easier and hopefully give everybody in the Emerald Hope area a better chance of making it through the next night. With that in mind, read the below. And as always, feel free to comment.

---Dr. Bowman Jean

1) _Magic works. Get used to it._

Really, if you haven't heard "Thunderbolt!" by now, you haven't been paying attention. - Celine.

Celine, Leon, and our other magic-workers have theories as to _why_ it works. Some of them even agree. - Bowman.

The Force is not magic. Or psionics. - Axel Vigil.

Energy is energy, Jedi. I think I've got an equation…. - Leon.

2) _The labs have warning signs for a reason._

I meant to blow that up. - Leon.

Evidently, demonic DNA is a bit more complex than I anticipated. - Adam.

Which is _why_ I blew it up. - Leon.

3) _Demonic does not automatically equal evil._

Okay, I need to add an addendum right off here… between the Eastern-origin pretty much neutral demons (youkai, _whatever_), and the Western-origin rebels against the various Hells, we have plenty of examples of this. Don't assume, people. Treat with caution, and yell for help - but don't assume. - Bowman.

I disagree. - Priestess Mithil Xian, Sword-Singer of Eilistraee.

I'm going to point out that, traditionally, drow are just as evil as demons, and we give _her_ the benefit of the doubt. Bradley's in the infirmary with massive burns, Angelina's crying, and anybody who knows where Mithil is better tell me. _Now_. - Kat.

Normally I'd say don't hospitalize the healers, but given Bradley _is_ one of our better healers - well. Medieval-world sword-singer priestess against modern half-demonic dragon monster-hunter. That was… interesting. Short, but interesting…. - Bowman.

4) _The dragon-tainted spring is_ off limits. _Period._

I don't care if Priestess Deirdre calls it Bahamut's Blessing. I don't care if it _is_ Bahamut's blessing. The amount of accidental dragon blood we've got in our population is enough trouble. Deliberate exposure is going to get the _entire infirmary_ mad at you. - Bowman.

Not _everybody_, Bowman. - Priestess Deirdre.

Oh, right, _sure_. Unless, of course, the kind of blood you have the bad luck to be compatible with is gem, oriental, fairy, song, fang, shadow, or - gods help you - chromatic, instead of Deirdre's beloved metallic. Quick clue: based on past numbers, that happens to be _most_ of us. - Bowman.

We haven't had any planar dragon blood show up. Yet. If it does, call Kat. - Leon.

Unless it's ice-based. If that happens, call Ashton, _then_ me. Brr…. - Kat.

5) _Do not tease the clerics._

Eilistraee. Bahamut. Chaotic Good and Lawful Good are, apparently, distinctly different philosophical outlooks. Sometimes, fatally so. See the Sourcebook Library for details. - Chizu.

And that doesn't even begin to get into the Christians, Shintoists, Jedi, neo-pagans, and who knows what else we've got in here. Not to mention our various friendly neighborhood demonic inhabitants, who might be any of the above. Consecrating ground or sprinkling holy water without prior permission _is not funny_, people. See the original owner of said Sourcebooks. Before she sees you. - Bowman.

6) _Be honest with your doctors. No matter HOW embarrassing it is._

Brood, black oil, facehuggers, and… _not_ facehuggers. We've seen it all. If something's off, or you're missing time, _talk_ to us, people! - Bowman.

I don't know who the Sluggite on the Gulf Coast was, but I call dibs. - Conan.

Remember: if you are infested with something, between the level of science and mystic arts we currently have, we stand a very good chance of curing it. - Bradley.

On the other hand, if you _don't_ tell us, and there's an outbreak, the survivors are going to kick your ass. - Bowman.

And believe me, there _will be_ survivors. - Kat.

BTW, this also goes for odd or inconvenient ancestries. A demon or dragon (gods know we've got both) transfused with human blood is usually just cranky. A human winding up with either is, in the _best_ case, in for an emergency purification and a very bad night. And any of those ending up with werewolf or vampire blood is a _bad idea_. - Bowman.

_See the above, Adam!_ - Multiple scrawled signatures.

7) _Don't forget to laugh._

From a purely practical standpoint, a lot of monsters feed on negative emotions. We are _not_ a buffet. - Kat.

And to balance the eternal pragmatist… I know we've all been too busy to think, people, but things have gotten way better here since Halloween. We've got hot water, food, walls, medicine - heck, we've even got chocolate. The world has changed, we've changed - but we're still here. Make the most of it. - Bowman.

Chocolate's good - but do we have _coffee?_ - Conan.

Coffee? Barbarians… how can we be civilized without _tea?_ - Seizaburo.

Short-term, ask the scrounging teams. Long-term, Bradley and the various _polymorph_-capable magic and psionics users are working on it. Not so easy, designing coffee/cacao/tea plants that'll 1) grow under the Red Sky _and_ 2) grow outside the tropics. This is Northwest Florida, not Key West. - Leon.

Don't worry. As long as we're together, we can do this. - Rena.

"As long as"? _Death before desertion!_ - Tetsunosuke.

Good thing half of us now speak and read Japanese… would somebody track down Okita-san and beg - er, _ask_ him to take a hunting party out? Twitchy redheaded Shinsengumi kids…. - Bowman.

Dr. Bowman is currently resting comfortably; the sword wounds won't take long to heal at all! - Rena.

Ashton? Axel? I think we need to talk to all of Emerald Hope's fighters and set up sparring schedules. Bowman should have been able to dodge that one…. - Kat.

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A/N: Mentioned: Many people from Star Ocean EX, Adam Kane of Mutant X, various D&D critters, a stray Corellian Jedi Healer, Bradley and Angelina from the Devil May Cry anime, Chizu from Usagi Yojimbo, Conan Edogawa of Detective Conan, Kamiya Seizaburo (Tominaga Sei) and Okita Souji of Kaze Hikaru, Tetsunosuke Ichimura of Peacemaker Kurogane, various creatures of X-Files and Aliens fame, and a certain extraterrestrial extra-dimensional carnivore from Sluggy Freelance.


End file.
